Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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