: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
