im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize