people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Of course I have a pirate flag
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
