i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
