the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize