based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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