Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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