I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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