so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
