Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
