Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Never underestimate the power of titties
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