Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
