On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
3 2 1 whiskey
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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