Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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