Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
