Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize