I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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