Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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