I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
