i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
