I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Randomize
