I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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