I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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