there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
