You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
