I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
