Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
