Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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