After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
