just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
