ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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