I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
