The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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