her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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