Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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