From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
