How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
