Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
