I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
