You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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