There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it's like heaven, but drunker
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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