My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
