Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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