hotel room ftw
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
