So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That's how pantless uber rides happen
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
