But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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