Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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