You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
