I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
