I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
