I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
