my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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