Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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