is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Houston, we have a squirter
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
