I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize