You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't deserve a penis
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
