Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm passing your future prison.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
