I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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