The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
