I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The air was thick with penises
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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