She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
