I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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